Recognition is rare.

Let me clarify that. Recognition happens all the time, but usually for stuff I don't care about. I've gotten compliments on sweaters, haircuts, t-shirts and taking care of my car (the emissions people were very impressed my 13-year old guzzler is still running--and passed so easily). But recognition for the real meaningful things--that doesn't happen everyday. And, as usual, the recognition came in the mail. We got Zineguide #2, a zine that ranks and catalogs the zine world, in the mail on Thursday.

Last June, I, and others involved, quit the zine world in a bloody flourish called Lies #17 (the horror, the horror issue). With joyful glee, we chopped off heads, sucked necks and otherwise sent our cast of characters to their doom (along with pop culture jokes, CD reviews, nasty columns and fiction). And I thought that would be the end of it all. But I also forgot that word travels slowly in the zine world.

My best description of this world (and I'm stealing a bit from my brother here) is a not so reliable collection of strange young people who spurt bile and mortar out of their mouths, print them in varying types of magazines (self-financed) and then send them out in the hope that someone understands. Introverts feeding other introverts need for acceptance. Or something like that. I'm sure some of the zine people get together in coffee shops or bars and network like crazy, but most of us are anti-social towards actual people. But the printed word--ahh, the freedom that gives! Which is why we all throw out our thoughts to everyone else in zines--rather than have actual good paying jobs. Weird, huh?

So last year (while Lies was still printing), we didn't do so well in the Zineguide. Our highest ranking was on the chart "Favorite zines of record labels," which we were somewhere in the 40s. We weren't anywhere to be seen on any other chart except the big Top 250 Zines (somewhere in the 100s, I think). Something happened between then and now, I guess.

This year, even though Lies was only around for half of it, we made a stupendous showing. Lies was #94 on the overall chart. #117 on the "Favorite zines among other zines" chart. And our biggest achievement was on a demographic chart called "Favorite Zines Among Boys." Lies is #68 among boys.

We didn't make the record label list this year (all of those publicists know we're not around--so why list us?), but that is a cheap chart anyway. The best way to get high on the record label list is to do a bunch of reviews (which Lies did) and, if possible, be influential enough to make the labels buy advertising. The labels thought that was us last year. Now they know the truth.

And so do we! We're #68 among boys.

I'm not sure how this happened. We didn't make any of the cool lists at all last year. Hell, Albuquerque (our home base) is #22 on the list of "Zine Cities," even though Lies was the only one listed in the top 250 (Vegetable Inside Us All, also from the Big Q, made honorable mention). So evidently something we did affected others in a positive way.

I guess it's nice. We won't make the list next year. Unless a bunch of people decide to buy our back issues because of this (not bloody likely, but it's a shot). And Lies is now officially out of one of our back issues (#13, alas, is a collectible). But it's really nice to be mentioned. Definitely brought a smile to my face.

#68 among boys.

And all the time I thought I was preaching to an empty church.

Matt Worley would have liked to be #-something among girls, but no such luck.