Fifty-nine. That's the number criminal counts Wen Ho Lee faces. A count for every year he has lived. For those who are not familiar with Lee, he is the Los Alamos scientist accused of transferring classified files to the Chinese. He has lost his job and finally been charged with some crimes, such as tampering, altering and concealing classified information. He is charged with violating the Atomic Energy Act which includes removing secret weapons files from Los Alamos computers. But where are the big charges we all want?

Where are the conspiracy charges? Where are the charges of passing nuclear secrets to the Chinese? 59 counts, and the government can't slip in the big whammy crimes?

The government's plan is to nickel and dime Lee for his transgressions. Not to say it won't work. Al Capone was a tax evader and went to jail. The government couldn't prove anything else against the man, even though I heard he ran a gang or two. But Lee isn't Al Capone. He's a soft spoken scientist with one glaring characteristic against him. He's from Taiwan.

Lee is not innocent. He did not follow the rules very strictly. He copied documents onto personal disks, he backed up his computer, he took his work home with him. This is what the government has against Lee. Of course, the government could arrest half the staff at Los Alamos for that. Several colleagues at Los Alamos National Laboratories have come to Lee's defense, saying he acted in a way consistent with the way that several scientists operated. No scientist will publicly come forward with this, lest they wish their own indictments.

Lee is not guilty. The system is. An old roommate who worked at Sandia National Laboratories as a runner during part of his college days said that he could have smuggled information if he'd wanted to do so. The labs work on an unspoken honor system much of the time. Sure, you need badges and official approval to get into certain parts of the laboratories, but once these coveted badges are obtained, the tight security loosens three notches on the belt buckle. Scientist are free to access several different files to their work.

When scientists are free to do what they want, they are going to work much like employees in the private sector. After a breakthrough or an intense day of inputting, employees may back up their files on personal disks or take their work home with them. They don't think they are doing anything wrong. They are just trying to be careful.

Except when something happens. Like when someone discovers that China knows what we know. How does China know that? Where are we working on that project? Anyone Chinese working there? You have a guy from Taiwan? Well, it's all one China, right?

Maybe I'm wrong on this. Maybe Lee is the soft spoken master mind of a one-man espionage ring that's been funneling documents to the Chinese for months and years. Maybe the government found the one bad apple in the bunch, and the labs will now return to a spy-free zone

I doubt it. The government found their patsy, their scapegoat, their Lee Harvey Oswald. Hey, they're both named Lee. Hmmmmm. It's all falling into place. The answers are in between the lines. If you don't see them right away, just keep staring until you can find a way to blame all of our country's faults on some foreigner. Preferably from the Middle or Far East. Or maybe from Russia. Or Pakistan or Afghanistan. Or the Serbs. Or the guerrilla militias in Colombia. Or drug cartels in Mexico. Or Castro.

Yeah, that's sounds good. It's all Castro's fault.

I knew I'd get to the bottom of this.

Chris Jungle applied to the CIA but was rejected because he scored too high on the free-thinking portion of the entry test.