My alma mater's football team sucks. While the University of New Mexico Lobos went to a Insight.com Bowl two years ago (insert Insight.com jokes here), it was perceived as a fluke the public should savor as opposed the start of a gridiron tradition. This year, it was painfully obvious by losing to New Mexico State and UTEP that Lobo football would once be the object of my pity. The Lobos have one player worth mentioning. He has the quintessential linebacker name of Brian Urlacker. He is 6'4, 225 lbs., runs a 4.5 40 and will throw all of his size, weight and speed into whoever has the ball. He will have a very impressive NFL contract next year. But that's all you need to know about the team. Since the Lobos are on their way to a traditional 3-8 season, it is necessary for this football junkie to cheer for teams of colleges I never attended.

I have rooted for the Nebraska Cornhuskers for many years because my grandmother went to school there and the team has a long tradition of winning most of their games. Also, they have a stand out player named Bobby Newcombe who hails from my hometown of Albuquerque. The past few years, I have included the Kansas State Wildcats since they decided it was much better to be an exceptional football team rather than the worst in the country. My parents met, dated and married while attending K-State in Manhattan, Kansas. My deceased grandfather taught there and created one of the finest weather-resistant strains of wheat of its time called Newton Wheat. I even root for the Texas Longhorns (if they are not playing the aforementioned teams) because it was my first choice of colleges to attend. I also have a friend who lives in Austin and bleeds burnt umber. My point is that rooting for these football teams somehow connects me to people I know (and their schools play some solid football).

To wrap up the season in a nutshell, K-State beat Texas, Texas beat Nebraska, and Nebraska beat K-State. For each team, their loss has been the only one in the Big 12 Conference. They have pretty much pummeled the rest of the competition. As I watched Nebraska whip K-State this weekend, it became clear that rooting for a certain amount of winning football teams (as opposed to just one) in the same conference has its down sides. They beat each other. Did the Romans root for just one Gladiator or did they select a handful of standouts like Fantasy Football? What's the proper procedure?

I don't talk about this dilemma in public very often. Usually because people who don't like football believe I'm ruining culture by keeping an eye on a sports ticker. On the other side, the hard core football junkies (yes, even more focused than I) go into intricate detail on why rooting for the teams I do is a sucker choice. "Florida State! Bowden's Boys! Blah, blah, blah!" I can't win. Unless, of course, my teams win.

That's the main reason I root for a handful of teams. The little pleasurable hits of vicarious victory. I only win at work on payday, and I've already rigged the score of that game. I only win at writing when I'm published, and my winning percentage is much worse than the Lobos. I only win with women through tricks, slight of hand and hypnotism, and when they wake up I have to explain why they are locked up in the cage.

College football allows me a chance to win on a weekly basis. Unlike the NFL, there are so many teams out there that rooting for five or six isn't too absurd (for a football fan). This week, Nebraska ruined K-State's shot at the National Championship, much like Texas did to Nebraska and K-State did to Texas earlier in the year. My teams have found a way to ruin each other. Somehow, I'm okay with all of this. Somehow, it mimics my own competing aspirations. Somehow, my vicarious life has conformed to how I actually am.

Is it coincidence? Is it fate? Or is it just college football?

Chris Jungle has vowed not to write about sports again until basketball season starts. Oh, wait a minute...