Last night, a good friend of mine confessed that he seriously considered suicide at the beginning of the summer. My initial reaction was shock. I knew he had stints of isolation, was quiet by nature and gave off a melancholy mood much of the time. Still, we went to flicks together, played basketball a few times and sat around rambling about the silly ways life turns out. It was just life, though, I thought. But it was more than that.

When the bad chemicals get together in a person's body, a sinking feeling can settle in and not leave for months upon months. Cures must go far beyond telling someone "Don't worry, things will get better."

I answered phones at a crisis center for a couple years, and the inevitable suicide call would come in on random occasions. Some would just have it on their mind while others had a concrete plan to snuff themselves out. The whole goal was to keep the caller from doing anything for the night. No problems were going to be solved over the phone, but it was possible to calm a person down out of a frantic and desperate mood.

Those callers and my friend aren't alone in their contemplations. The Surgeon General, David Satcher, has just declared suicide a serious public health threat. With all of the external worries put upon our society, people can forget to check on how their loved ones are doing mentally and emotionally. In 1997, there were close to 30,000 suicides compared to 19,000 homicides. Homicides make the 10 o'clock news, suicides make the obituaries. Not surprisingly, the two groups of people most likely to commit suicide are the young and the old. Life, like many novels, is the most unsettling at the beginning and end.

The problem is getting worse. The suicide rate has doubled for 10 to 14 year olds in the last twenty years. While the government complains about children getting into R-rated movies and school systems try to solve problems by introducing school uniforms, children who aren't blatant and up front about their stress and difficulties get lost. And their problems are just as important. I have yet to hear a mother say "At least my twelve-year old was well-dressed, drug free and never cussed when he died."

People have told me stories about girlfriends blowing their heads off, grandfathers cutting life short, and sons getting into the medicine cabinets. They didn't have anything to do with "cheating death," "getting back at the world" or "going to hell." They had to do with people feeling miserable about their situation and seeing no end to their plight.

"I just wish I had a reason for feeling the way I did," my friend told me. He hadn't lost a loved one, or been recently divorced, or suffered some major financial crisis. He had no concrete reason for contemplating desperate actions. There would be nothing to point to in a letter to let people know why. He was in a rut mentally, and he kept it hid from the rest of us.

It's difficult to force people to stop feeling miserable even when you know. I remember grimacing at times when I was a kid and my mom getting upset with me because I refused to smile. I couldn't help it. I sometimes felt miserable for no good reason. Smiling made me feel worse That's inevitable, though. No one feels good all of the time--without a prescription.

It is important to let people know that there is an end to that lousy feeling. Even if you can't bring a friend out of a depression all by yourself, it never hurts to remind them that the pain will dull. It may never go away completely, but the body will eventually find a way to deal with the bad chemicals.

And maybe a lot more of us will find a way to live and die without intentionally killing ourselves.

Chris Jungle wants you to see how your friends are doing.