Marijuana, marijuana, marijuana. On St. Patrick's Day, the Institute of Medicine decided the time was right to release their findings on the effects of pot. I thought the double green day was an amusing coincidence and worthy topic of conversation, but of course, I spent the last two years of college studying the politics of illicit narcotics (don't ask me why or I'll tell you). Regardless of that, I have a little bit of fodder to throw upon your bloodshot column reading eyes on the subject.

I won't go into the medical jargon that doctors feel the need to speak in which only seems to confuse everyone (much like lawyers and anyone else who has a high paying profession). The main thing is that marijuana can help fight nausea, reduce vomiting, ease anxiety, increase the appetite (they don't call it the munchies for nothing), and ease the pain for people with severe medical conditions like AIDS and many types of cancer. For anyone who has smoked marijuana at least five or six times, this information was not very surprising. To everyone else (particularly Congress who voted 310-93 on a resolution which stated marijuana is a dangerous drug and should not be legalized for medical use), the news was startling.

"It's sending the wrong message to the kids," the right wingers cry out. I know, I know. It is the wrong message to tell the kids that marijuana can ease grandma's pain but the government doesn't want her to have it. The right message would be to explain to the children the benefits of using naturally growing herbs and plants as an alternative to synthetic pharmaceuticals. Oh wait, that will upset all the big drug companies that contribute to political campaigns, and that's a whole other wrong message altogether.

Despite my mocking, I know what bad message the anti-pot people are talking about. They don't want little Jimmy to see Grandpa lighting up a fat joint, especially if stoned Grandpa starts babbling about the good old days, laughs for a few minutes, then stares off into the clouds for a half an hour. Grandpa goes drifting and eases his pain at the same time. Avert your pure eyes, little Jimmy.

The real difficulty is the hypocrisy this new medical information creates. How can we prescribe a drug that can be recreationally enjoyable to many as well as helpful to those who are suffering? How can we say 'no' to one group of people and 'yes' to another? How can we prescribe people to smoke their way to comfort and condemn another group for smoking their way to comfort without a prescription? How can we tell people to smoke at all? How can something we've spent million of dollars to preach the detriments of actually be useful? Why hasn't everyone in Jamaica died a horrible pot death? The questions could go on and on.

To be fair, I must admit this. I smoke marijuana. Much more than regular God-fearing folks, and much less than hippies. It is not a cure all drug. Yes, it eases my pain although I have no illness. I don't have the physical pain of people with hard core diseases, but there have been a few times when I have come home from a terrible, terrible day at work and calmed down with a little green bowl. And you know what? It worked. My body relaxed, and all of the stressful problems of the day suddenly seemed silly and not worth worrying about. But there are occasional moments of paranoia and a tendency to rely on the effects a little too much during the bad times. Marijuana can be psychologically addictive, but it can be compared to the effects of coffee, alcohol, cigarettes, soda pop, fast food, and many prescription drugs.

I'm not a hard core legalization nut. If I need a bag of pot, I ask a couple people or make a few phone calls, and I have what I need. If pot became legal, I could see the government throwing insane taxes on every pack much like cigarettes. As long as the government keeps saying marijuana is bad, they won't make a dime off me. I'm okay with that.

There is one thing I would like to see the government do as far as pot is concerned, and that is called harm reduction. No one should have to go to jail because they get caught with pot in their pocket. Much like alcohol, no one should be extremely stoned and driving a vehicle, but I'm not very scared of a gang of potheads throwing a Frisbee in the park. One out of every 150 people in the United States is already in jail, and I don't think jail time is going to make anyone quit the habit. I still remember a guy who served a few years in Leavenworth telling me he was stoned almost every day in jail. How's that for rehabilitation?

We shouldn't be busting patients who get pot prescriptions (although I doubt too many are getting in trouble), but we also shouldn't be busting those who don't. This shouldn't be that big of a deal, but because of our own self-righteousness and a post-prohibition movement almost 70 years ago to get some substance banned, there seems to be a chunk of reefer madness still lingering.

Chris Jungle apologizes for sending the wrong message to the kids.