Not too long ago, "consumerism" was a bad word. At the very least, aspiring to the level of "conspicuous consumption" was considered to be in bad taste. I distinctly remember more than one sermon in church on the subject, and that verse about a camel and the eye of a needle frequently found voice. I grew up in a family of modest means, and I liked the notion that heaven was reserved for regular shmoes like me. Apparently, however, most folks did not like that notion, as people have been fleeing the traditional Christian denominations and heading to churches which preach the gospel of prosperity.

Nowadays, churches advertise "worship opportunities" on billboards. There are television ads which are eerily reminiscent of those creepy "morning in America" bits Reagan used. Now, this shouldn't be too surprising. Christianity was the first major world religion to use commerce, and not government, as its base. This is how it can be accepted in just about any country (except those that are officially atheist). And why should I complain? I'm a born-again atheist anyway. Let those folks do whatever they want, as long as they don't start wiping out a few thousand years of scientific knowledge.

Enough of that rant. There are things more important to me than religion. Beer, of course. A good book. And food. Definitely food. Every time I move, I always check out each nearby grocery store (and a number which aren't terribly close) to set up my weekly routine. What foods I plan to eat (every place I move, there are different items and certainly different brands from which to satisfy my palate). Every weekend, I hit a full-service health food store (mostly for produce and some gourmet items) and a regular grocery store.

And last week in my regular grocery store, I saw that there is now a red plastic cup holder affixed to the front of the fold-out child seat in the grocery cart. This cup holder reads: "Enjoy ice cold coke and pay at register."

Apart from the appalling lack of articles in that sentence (I can assure you that an "a" and a "the" would not have thrown off the layout), this simply codified one of the ugliest forms of shopping I can imagine. As a child, I was trained not to eat in the grocery store (and not to steal items that I wanted but Mom wouldn't buy, but that's another story altogether). Whenever I saw someone slurping down a Coke (or a Pepsi, or on rare occasions, a beer) in the aisles, I simply clicked my tongue (tsk, tsk) and waited for the store personnel to come by and ask that person not to drink in the store.

When I was young, that actually happened fairly frequently. Usually it was kids screwing around and drinking stuff they had no intention of actually purchasing, of course, but lately I had been noticing signs of consumption creep in the stores. First came the "honor box" at the Brach's candy bin, which supposedly encouraged folks not to steal a piece or two as they cruised the store. That didn't bother me too much. I mean, a piece of candy could be downed in a few seconds. In fact, if you were stealing it, you'd better get rid of it quickly, lest some sharp-eyes clerk accost you. After the honor box came the salad bars. This time, there was food sitting in open bins waiting to be munched, but it was placed in a plastic container and taped shut, with a price tag stamped on top. Plastic forks were provided, though, and I noticed more and more folks (women and men, lest you start making jokes about muu-muus) chowing down on some sad greens overwhelmed by a drenching of poppy-seed dressing. Salad bars were definitely in the area of mixed messages.

Even that I could stand. I mean, if I hadn't had the honor of stocking the salad bar during my years as pizza boy, I'd probably still avail myself of many more salad bars than I do today. There is something about French dressing and garbanzo beans that still awakens primal urges in me. Salad bars were still on the side of good service. Stores flipped over to the bad taste side with the advent of cappuccino stands in the aisles. Now, there is no way to buy a cappuccino and then wait to drink it until you're out of the store. In fact, this item was pay at point of purchase, so the store was encouraging consumption amongst its customers.

If cappuccino was the grocery store Waterloo, these cup holders signify the New World Order. Not only do the holder exist, encouraging sipping in the aisles, but they're sponsored. Apparently it's true: You can do anything you want, as long as you pay for it. This applies to both the folks slurping down a Coke or two and to Coca-Cola itself, that marketing behemoth. Both actions are uncouth. Coke is encouraging rude behavior. And the stores are quietly acquiescing, making a buck off the ads and a buck off the Cokes that are drained.

It's almost enough to make me change stores. But that place is the only one which stocks a certain type of pita bread and another sort of pasta. I like the food too much to live by any boycott. But I will still click my tongue at folks who pop the tops and rest their carbonated cargo in the cart cup holder. I know that Miss Manners always says that two acts of rudeness do not make for good etiquette, but that's tough. I've got to take a stand somewhere. Next thing you know, Wal-Marts will have McDonald's in them, and folks will be chowing down on Big Macs while they try on lingerie.

Oh, yeah. Bad example, I guess.

Jon Worley is all in favor of conspicuously consuming books, music, movies, beer and food. After that, well, his interest tapers off rapidly.