I'm in the midst of a trauma--leave a message and I'll call you back
by Matt Worley

In the fall of 1988, I got a tape from my older brother. This was a common occurrence, as Jon always sent suggestions to supplement our own musical tastes. I was full on into Guns N' Roses, Poison and Faster Pussycat by that time, but because my home town was less than a musical Mecca, I listened to my brother's prompting. On one side of the tape was a new band (to me) called Jane's Addiction. A dub of "Nothing's Shocking," their first major label release was coupled with some Bad Company record on the other side. If I listened to Bad Company all the way through once, it was the only time I really heard it. That tape was the only thing I listened to in my car for a few months, always rewinding after the strange hybrid of art rock and hard rock was over. "Pigs In Zen" was a theme song for quite a while.

"Nothing's Shocking" was not available in the small town of Clovis, New Mexico, for quite some time after its release. When I'd worn down the dub Jon had sent (trust me, when you play and rewind as much as I did, the tape breaks down), I had to special order another tape. No one really understood why I liked the band. They weren't played on MTV or the radio. They dressed like thrift store nightmares and the singer sounded like he'd been neutered. Only my friend Dave understood the artistry involved. I think it was the interruptive percussion intro of "Ted...Just Admit It," and the slowly rumbling "Summertime Rolls." When I finally got a CD of "Nothing's Shocking," I passed my tape along to Dave.

I've been in a bit of a quandary about music this past week. First there was the skipped Prince concert on Tuesday. The next day I ran into half a dozen people who had gone and were quite impressed with the little purple man. My friend at the post office told me he went because of the Artist's importance--not really because he thought the music was good. Many went because they didn't think he would ever show up in Albuquerque again. I didn't go for two reasons. One, it was too expensive. Two, I don't appreciate live shows as much as I used to. Anytime I pay $40 to see someone perform live, I better have a mind shattering orgasm lasting the entire concert.

And then there were the Stones. They rumbled through town a couple of days after Prince, causing a bit of a frenzy in the Big Q. Previews of a recent Stones concert in Oklahoma were the highlights of one local TV station. Memories of the past were pasted over two or three page newspaper spreads. And, right before she was to go and see Prince, a friend of mine called up and asked if I wanted to be on the crew for the Stones. I reminded her I was a little man, and she said, "Well, you're bigger than me." At the time, I dismissed my doubts. Surely, if they called her to work, there would be some menial job a girlie man like myself could accomplish.

I'm 5'10" and 150 pounds. I can lift big boxes of magazines under great duress. Usually I type and push the computer mouse around its pad. Not the kind of muscle most concert crews are looking for from their workers. After an hour and a half of watching all the real men get picked for jobs (it was a lot like picking teams in kickball as a kid), I told my friend that I probably wasn't needed. There were four of us left. We were apparently waiting for some other jobs that might come along sometime during the day easy enough for little people like us to handle. I went home secure in the knowledge that I had at least chosen an appropriate line of work for my body type.

We listened to the echoes of the concert from our backyard. Not the whole thing, but every once in a while we would wander outside and try to figure out what song was being played. The only one I recognized was Sheryl Crow's "All I Wanna Do." I know Stones songs, but I couldn't place any of them as they drifted over a few miles of city space.

And then there was the Jane's Addiction concert Friday on MTV. It started an hour late, and I was already in bed (I had to be at work early on Saturday). My roommates taped the show for me. It made me think of a couple of things. One, MTV really doesn't care much about live music. Live music isn't spliced up into neat little ten minute bits so the commercials can be slotted at their appropriate times. Two, Jane's Addiction was one of the best bands I got into during my high school years.

Listening to their last two albums Saturday night, I was happy Jane's Addiction was as good a band as it was, and not merely a memory trigger of simpler times. Y'know those times--when nothing could come between a boy and his band.

I didn't want to reduce Prince to that status, and I certainly didn't want to be in a sea of nostalgia I didn't understand at the Stones concert. Whether or not the reincarnation of Jane's Addiction is temporary or permanent, I'll still pull their CDs out for a test drive every month or so. Not because I want to relive a past, but because it's good music. If I could only say the same thing about Warrant.

Matt Worley by no means apologizes for his musical selections during those teenage years, but does realize that he was living in a twisted little fantasy world back then.

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