Here I go again
by Matt Worley

I've said for quite awhile that American entertainment will someday bring the people of the world together--a sort of New World Order Lite. This, of course, might mean to many that something sinister is going on. Some kind of entertainment conspiracy that will bring together Masons, the Trilateral Commission, the Illuminati, and Scientology into one world government. No longer God-fearing, we as World Citizens, will worship the feet of whatever celebrity passes our way every few years. A sort of revolving king/queenship that is controlled by an unknown force behind closed doors.

Exactly. What I'm talking about is the dream. The centuries old dream that compelled millions to leave their old country for the new. As evangelists for this dream, celebrities are proving to be the most successful. The American way of life is infecting the thoughts and minds of the pure all over the world. They're looking at Americans in TV, music and film and saying, "Jesus, they aren't praying at all and look at their lives."

To be sure, religion holds more sway in every other country in the world other than the United States--except Canadians, who seem to be more interested in hockey. Third World country rulers hold religion up as a social tool, something that must be followed or cruel and swift punishment will be the result. Ireland and the rest of the British Isles are still bitching about which kind of religion should be practiced. Okay, maybe France doesn't care, but France is like one of those beautiful houses I had bible study at when I went to a rich church: Don't Touch Anything, We Like It The Way It Is!

We in America like to think we're religious, but we're not. We wear religion like fashion. This is what I should believe in--and so should you--but really I'm more interested in what's on Must See TV this week. Even those who go to church regularly (around 33% at least once a month), for the most part, do it for social reasons. All their friends go, they get to eat pot luck, and talk about the football games in the fall, baseball in the spring. I'm sure God has something to do with it. People are a little bit concerned whether or not they're going to heaven (don't mention HELL unless you're Catholic), but they're a lot more concerned about how much they're making this year after taxes (don't mention TITHES unless you're an accountant).

The most active religious leaders in our country are more concerned about entertainment than they are actually saving people's souls. Apparently religious leaders have realized that many (if not most) of their parishoners know more about the latest Disney video release than how God can save their soul. So the preachers are fighting back against the rising religion of entertainment, condemning it all to hellfire and damnation. In the end, it makes the rest of us realize how much more conforting entertainment is than organized religion.

So our God-less society (hey, the Muslims are right!) is leading the rest of the world down the toilet. Many Third World (and other worlds) governments are trying to stop the influence by banning the evil American entertainment, but the word is getting through to the people. Western music, TV and films portray the American way of life and even Third World peasants realize through their 13" black and whites that being God-less might be a good thing. Not that they have much of a choice right now--but they might soon! Communism, feudlism, dictatorships and other forms of mass slavery just don't seem as viable when one looks at Jennifer Aniston going commando in a lime green stretch dress.

This is where politics come in. Politics is a set of substitute religions, much like the various tracts of entertainment (Music, Film, TV). Politics is religion for people who want to worship money flow and people control ideologies rather than beautiful, semi-artistic people. As such, politics is serious religion, while entertainment is pop culture. Politics are for people who can say, "I love my spouse for their mind, not their looks" with a straight face. The rest of us just admit that it doesn't matter what our spouse looks like because we're thinking about Cameron Diaz in a bikini.

Simply put, politics controls the big money. They control government subsidies, defense contracts, infrastructure and laws--or as we like to call it around here: The Big Enchilada. Not glamorous, but very lucrative. Entertainment controls consumers: The Cheese Enchilada. Not as much money, but very flashy.

Putting these ideals together is why the term "America" will become more ambiguous as time goes on. As the greater percent of the world becomes hypnotized by the idealized lifestyle of American Pop Culture, the politicos have more room to roam. Trade agreements break down borders. Arms agreements lessen risk. Brad Pitt's bare chest opens eyes.

I wish I could prognosticate when these changes will occur. I wish I could say it'll all happen in my lifetime. I wish I knew which politician to back come the millennium. I wish I had a little bit more money. I wish I could be an American just like the ones I see on TV. See how the whole thought process works?

Matt Worley decided to clear up his politics about entertainment once again after reading about the Spice Girls influencing the elections in Britain, while selling Pepsi to the rest of the world.

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