Can't we control ourselves?
by Matt Worley

I was pulling a photo into one of my pages at work Saturday, and my mood, for a few seconds anyway, darkened quite a bit. I was already tired from a bout with insomnia, so it probably took less time than usual to piss me off, but I think the picture would have given my mind a bump anyway. The photo featured the third Air Force officer to be convicted with sexual misconduct in the last few months. His hands were raised in the air, and he was smiling. Apparently he was very happy about only getting six months in jail along with his dishonorable discharge. My mind flashed back to a much circulated photo from a few years ago when the first female student at the Citadel left after only a week. Well-shaven young men in uniform jumping for joy at expelling the only woman attending their school.

I'm not one of those sensitive men types. If anything, I'm rather standoffish at times, perhaps a bit sardonic. My feeling about so-called sensitive men is that they are faking it just to get laid. Faking it is probably a much better way of finding a mate than being strange and sarcastic, but I just can't do that acting gig anymore. I'm also not one of those guys who drops $50 on drinks in the hopes that one of the girls I shelled out for might follow me home. Okay, so I'm just one of those freaks that barely cares anymore, but I'm not saying everyone should be this way. I think there should be a little more truth in advertising when it comes to hooking up, but then there should also be a class to teach women how to see through men.

What I'm actually quite peeved about is the problems men and women have getting along in certain areas of society. Is there a causal link between military training and treating women as if they're lower than dogs? I know the answer is actually no. I've got friends in the military and their demeanor towards women is no different than it was when we were in high school together. But what happens when you put a bunch of men together in a small area that makes them revert to Darwin's "survival of the fittest" model? The kids (there is no other word) at Citadel rejoicing at the torment and ouster of female cadets. The officers of various branches of the military taking advantage of their underlings. It's almost as if there is something in the water at military encampments that makes men act this way. Except I know this isn't true either.

The problem is a severe case of group think. Many military men would argue that it is necessary for recruits and underlings to subscribe to the group think of military life. The easiest way to keep a group of people in line is to make them all think they are the same--in thought, body and mind. Everyone is equal in their chances of living or dying. The soldiers must be willing to trust that their fellow soldier will stand by them in battle. The bit of brainwashing involved seems to have spilled over into civilian life, however. Relations with other people is supposed to be something personal, not an extension of group think.

I wish I had an answer. I wish I could say "ban this, adopt this, say this, fix this," but I can't. Maybe if women were allowed to engage in battle, their position in the military would be more equal. Maybe if sexual mores were relaxed a bit in military circles ("don't ask, don't tell," and the bizarre adultery laws to name a couple), men and women who are part of the military won't feel they have to sneak in their sex whenever, wherever and with whoever they can. And possibly if men and women looked at each other as equal human beings (this is a two way street, baby) the problem might fix itself. Of course if everyone treated each other as human beings instead of strangers on the move, all of our lives--military and non--would be much better. I'm betting, in my own pessimistic way, that all of this will get worse before it gets better.

Matt Worley is currently rehabilitating from losing the job lottery. It was really hard to go back to work on Saturday.

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