The improbable dreams of a sports junkie
a SUIT column by Chris Jungle

My employer called me up this last Thursday wondering if I wanted to work an evening shift, and I told him resoundingly and confidently that I had plans to do something else. In truth, I had made plans to go for a hike in the mountains and be home by six to watch the Chiefs play the Chargers for a rare Thursday night NFL match up. Like the Worley boys, I'm a diehard Chiefs fan, and there are times when I think they only let me spout my mind because of our shared interest in the Kansas City sports teams. But this week, I seem to have crossed into another level of being a sports fan.

The fact that I turned down the opportunity to make money to instead watch very large, swift, and powerful men smack each other around for three hours is all part of being a solid sports junkie. Many of my friends scoff at my interest in both local sports teams and ones I have selected from the professional ranks. They point out that all sports are just games to be played more or less for exercise and should not be watched or admired by those who cannot play the game very well. I understand their lack of interest because they see the games without the one necessary ingredient to change a sports observer into a fan: blind devotion.

It's blind devotion that makes a fan study their teams, learn personal information about the players, study and decide what plays work for the team, and root and yell and holler at every big play that occurs in games. The faith swells, causing fans to believe the teams will somehow rise above all the possible hindrances to be the champions of the game. Then and only then is the fan truly rewarded for their emphatic, unhealthy, and insane devotion.

Still, my friends look at me like an atheist looks at a Christian. In fact, there's a reason why Christians make such good sports fans. They have faith in one area of their life already, so what's wrong with throwing it towards another aspect. The main question sports infidels ask is "What is to be gained by watching and rooting for rich athletes or spoiled scholarship students who would rather not talk to you anyway?" Well, the answer is simple. In victory, sports fans get filled with the holy spirit. Oh, it's not to be confused with the workings of the Kingdom of Heaven, but a victory by 'your team' makes the day a little brighter. Of course, a loss has the exact opposite effect, and each sports fan has his faith questioned with each defeat.

Junkies risk experiencing many lows in the attempt to reach the high, which causes many to become much more serious fans than originally intended. The casual fan becomes only mildly excited with each victory but risks only slight disappointment with each loss. The serious fan can experience near orgasmic joy with major wins but risks crushing let downs when the team loses. It's a manic-depressive existence, but what isn't nowadays?

Even with all that explanation, it does not truly explain why I am such a sports junkie. I get caught up in the dream. It's not a dream I actively take part in, but I get to observe how it all develops. My alma mater, the University of New Mexico, was known for one of the poorest football programs in the country when I attended. I went to the games, which were free at the time, dreaming and hoping that they could somehow beat teams who outplayed them in several ways. This year, the team won its first six games and filled the community and stadium with people caught up in the improbable dream: an undefeated season. There was no reason to assume they could actually accomplish this--considering the best record the Lobos have had in the 90s is 6-5. The dream came crashing down this Saturday when Rice stormed into town and took advantage of many mistakes by UNM to win 35-23.

Now, my friends ask me "What are you going to do now, Mr. Sports Junkie, since your team can no longer be the best?" I smile, already prepared for the mocking from the unbelievers, and say "10-1 would still be pretty damn good." Sometimes, we all have to modify our dreams for the sake of our addictions.

Chris Jungle would like to remind the world that writers can have style in being a sports fan. Remember Hemingway?

return to the Shut up, I'm talking page
return to the LIES home page
return to the A&A home page