Should we talke about the weather?
a column by Chris Jungle

There have been reports of icy and dangerously cold temperatures in the Northwest part of the United States, and downtown Reno, Nevada, is currently a prime spot for mud wrestling, but no matter how hard I try, I don't really care. What's really sad is that a lot of people agree with me. There is a certain egocentricity that comes with caring about the weather. It's the classic case of 'if it doesn't happen where I'm at or going, it doesn't mean a thing.' If I lived in those areas, I'm sure it would be all I cared about, but since I don't, the story is just another one I skim over in the paper.

This summer New Mexico had two major forest fires as a major drought put the entire state in the danger zone. To me, it was probably one of the biggest moments of the year to go see what damage a forest fire could do. To the rest of the nation, it was a story on page four under a campaign special update. Most people feel pity for those dealing with a national disaster like a hurricane or flood, but with that pity comes a relief that the person doesn't live there. In fact, earthquakes happen so often in California that no one even has pity for those who live there. It's more of a 'that's what they get for living in that place' attitude.

As a nation, there are only two cities that we want to live vicariously through: Los Angeles and New York. We cared about the Los Angeles riots while pretty much ignoring the ones in Atlanta, Detroit, Miami, and St. Petersburg. All of our fashion has to come from one of those two spots, while everything in between is considered a Midwestern wasteland. Most of our television shows are about living in New York or Los Angeles "because that's where the action is, baby."

There are only a few special moments when the country is not fixated on Los Angeles, New York, or their own hometown. The moments are more about the events more than the city. Atlanta had the Olympics, Salt Lake City will have it soon, Washington D.C. has politics, and Waco had David Koresh. One of the first questions asked about the Oklahoma City bombing was "why Oklahoma City?" as if the bombing should have occurred in a larger, more popular city.

One thing I will give us Americans credit for is that we care about stuff in our own country more than stuff abroad. It's something called nationalism. I've heard it's really cold in Europe, but I don't see anybody shedding a tear. Mexico has had a financial crisis for years, and still Americans are going down there just for the cheap tequila. Students protested in China, and the baby boomers, who are so proud of their rebellious youth, don't even acknowledge any similarities. I think if the New World Order ever came to fruition, the United States would spit it back quicker than the metric system.

So what does all of this have to do with the weather? Everything. Every topic of news, Americans treat like the weather. Very concerned for a couple days, but after they see the cold front is going to pass them by, it's on to bigger things. When people are thinking back, "remember that thing in Bosnia" comes out a lot like "remember that snow storm than came through a couple years ago." Pretty soon life is just either good weather or bad weather.

What's the cure for this strange egocentrism in which we care about ourselves, our town, our state, Los Angeles, New York, our country, and our world (in that order)? Admission. That's all. We're all pretty much ugly Americans, but the problem is that we think we're pretty. Well, the stuff we do ain't pretty, but it's still the stuff we do. Any kind of change will have to be gradual. After we admit that we're all fairly egotistical, all we have to do to change ourselves is to (just for a moment) put down the Super-sized value meal, get out of our four wheel drive vehicle, stop putting on the eye make up, wait to open a new bottle of Coors Light, go home from the all night techno club, quit grumbling about how our football team didn't make the playoffs, stop looking for the answers to life's questions in the lesser known Vonnegut novels, shut up about the new spring lines coming out, and realize that it rains in other parts of the world, too.

Chris Jungle would like everyone to know that the Albuquerque forecast for the next four days is partly cloudy with a good chance for snow and highs in the mid-thirties.

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