Shot of typical, suburban house. Ranch style, with Hondas in the driveway. Camera moves in closer, until a father and son are seen through the picture window. They are drinking Budweiser and watching football.
Camera passes through the window and focuses on the son.
SON
Dad, there's something important we've got to talk about.
FATHER
What is it, Billy?
SON
Well, you know how sometimes you go to a party, and something just isn't quite right?
FATHER
I'm not quite sure I understand.
SON
Well, when you pop the brewski, and the beer has, well, it has...
FATHER
A taste?
SON
Yeah, a taste. Something that actually activates the buds on my tongue.
FATHER
You weren't drinking ice-cold Budweiser, were you?
SON
No. It was one of those beers, you know, the kind that...
FATHER
A beer of color, shall we say?
SON
Exactly.
FATHER
You certainly weren't drinking Budweiser. And there's a reason you should.
SON
What's that, Dad?
FATHER
The reason Budweiser has no taste and no color is that it's brewed with only the cheapest ingredients, bathed in loads of chemical preservatives and shipped out immediately. If you let a beer sit too long, well, it might actually develop a taste or a scent.
SON
You've drunk beer that has a smell?
FATHER
It's an experience you don't want to have, Billy. Trust me on that. Do you really want to be distracted from your inebriating experience by a whiff of raspberry or spruce? Do you want to actually have to taste what you're chugging?
SON
No way!
FATHER
Of course not. So always look for the "Born On" dating on the bottle. The fresher the better. When chilled to almost freezing, Budweiser goes down quickly, with no inconvenient taste, and it exits even quicker. So you've got plenty of room left to get utterly plowed.
SON hugs FATHER.
SON
Aw, thanks. You're the best Dad a son could ever want.
FATHER
Shucks. Want another Budweiser?
SON
You bet! We've got to get all the way through that case before halftime!
Camera pulls away from the pair, back through the window. Soft, sentimental music chimes in over the generic sounds of a football game.