Just say thank you, stupid!
by Jon Worley

Now, I'm not much for religion or the concept of a higher being, but I'm more than happy to give thanks to the fates in the solar winds for the good things in my life. I mean, during the course of my life, I have received a few things I didn't work to achieve.

Thank you for the opportunity to meet my wife Barbara, who is easily the most fascinating person I know.

Thank you for my place in families where even my grandparents attended college. There was never a question about education after high school. This is probably the most important determining factor in the course of my life.

Thank you for the values of tolerance and compassion taught my by my parents. Contrary to popular belief, caring for people does not mean throwing money at a problem. Helping folks out is a hands-on process, something I learned as a child, when my family didn't have much more than many of the people we were helping.

Thank you for the move to Clovis. While that town is an A-1 hellhole, I started my life-long love affair with music there, mostly because there wasn't anything else on the radio.

And while on the subject of music, a quick word of thanks for people like John Coltrane, Frank Zappa, Prince Rodgers Nelson (or whatever name he prefers at the moment), Neil Young, Bob Walkenhorst and Jim O' Rourke. I could go on for days with this list, but these guys (sorry about the gender thing) are gathered, amongst others, at the top of my list.

A big thank you to my mother, who among other things, taught me how to play football, baseball and most of the sports I occasionally play. She also taught me how to play with dolls. Some may find it hard to believe, but those lessons are extensively interrelated.

I thank my friend Gerry, who taught me that life isn't something you plan out and stress over incessantly. Life is simply something you live. The last 10 years of my life have been much easier since I absorbed that concept.

Thanks to my father, who never quite had a regular occupation when I was growing up. He had all sorts of jobs while working on his dissertation (which he did complete and even got published). I didn't appreciate this corollary to the Gerry theory when I was younger, but it serves me well now that I am on somewhat the same life path.

My brothers moved to Florida last summer to participate in one of my harebrained schemes. The big plan didn't work out, and they moved back to the Big Q. The fact that they still like to talk to me is a miracle, one for which I am forever grateful.

This is the first real autumn I have experienced in four years. Fall is my favorite time of the year, the time when I regenerate myself. I am thankful that I have finally been able to wash all the old away this year.

My taste buds give thanks for Arthur Bryant and Ollie Gates, whose sauces will be gracing this year's Thanksgiving ribs. I never leave Kansas City without a serious re-supply.

It's awfully nice to be a citizen in a country where unusual thinking is at least tolerated, if not encouraged. We should all be thankful this grand experiment is still alive.

Most importantly, there's the simple fact of life. My parents had a big hand in that, of course. But I'd like to say thanks to whatever force or process led to my formation. Be it the hand of God or blind chance, I'm quite happy to be around. Thank you.

Don't fear. Jon Worley will return to his crass and cynical ways next week.

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