Bargain basement
By Matt Worley

On my computer desktop there is an icon of Princess Leia from Star Wars. Clicking on that icon takes me to a sometimes useful, sometimes infuriating database of facts about the Star Wars Trilogy and beyond. It's something I pulled off the Internet one night while trying to find photos for a story about Star Wars. In some ways the database is useful in that I don't always remember everything correctly. At other times, however, it reminds me why I stopped collecting Star Wars figures. Sometime after Return Of The Jedi came out, the story of the Star Wars universe was continued in comic book form by one of the large comic book houses. I remember looking at new figures that glowed florescent colors and were molded into strange shapes I was not familiar with. At that point I decided that the story really ended when the Return Of The Jedi ended-no matter how cheesy some of the last ten minutes of that movie were. Of course, if I wanted to keep these characters going in new directions there are many novels, graphic novels, illustrated journals and spaceship schematics-all of which are also chronicled in my Princess Leia iconed database.

In 1998 or 1999 a new Trilogy will begin that concerns the adventures of a couple of the elderly characters in the original Star Wars when they were younger. George Lucas has decided to direct at least the first of the three and is feverishly writing, scouting locations and debating whether or not to use Kenneth Brenaugh as a younger Obi Wan Kenobi. Since the first movie became a huge success, Lucas has always talked about the nine movie series he had in mind when he began writing Star Wars. Whether or not he will actually get nine made is anyone's guess (and Lucas is guessing no, by the way), but thinking about all of this makes me wonder about something. When do these characters settle down and stop being super heroes of a sort? When does the excitement stop? There is no way these characters can keep this hectic pace for their entire lives, but according to many accounts, they do.

There used to be nothing known as a sequel. When Little Red Riding Hood escaped the jaws of death, the story was over. Hansel & Gretel learned their lesson the first time (as did their father). Goldielocks was probably put in a foster home, but no one had to write another story to tell us that. Of course these were fairy tales. Small allegories meant to teach children certain things. The characters themselves were not developed at all past the color of their jacket or hair. No one cared about what happened after the story because the story itself was the central character.

Shakespeare had the habit of bringing back loved characters, but they were usually supporting characters, not the main ones. There was, of course, no Hamlet II. Legends, myths and the Bible usually stuck close to the realities of life. Characters like King Arthur, Robin Hood, the whole Zeus clan and Jesus had many stories written about them, but there were rules. None of the experiences were repeated with different villains. There was only one love triangle in the Arthurian Legend. Robin Hood only had to fight Prince John and the Sheriff. Jesus only came back from the dead once.

It is rare, these days, to have a hit movie with no sequel. E.T. comes to mind. I'm searching, I'm searching-I'm sure there are others. I remember Winona Ryder once said (during interviews for Reality Bites) that she wouldn't mind seeing what the characters of Heathers did in college. Luckily she hasn't mentioned this possibility again. Most movies suffer from their sequels. Did you ever see American Graffiti II? Any of the sequels to Halloween, Friday The 13th or Nightmare From Elmstreet? The Lethal Weapons, Die Hards and Police Academy's? Did anyone go through this much drama in their entire life-and was it always so repetitious?

I know the popular notion of super heroes and demigods is that they are always fighting evil-even if the actors playing them change from time to time. But, as humans, most of us don't want to have to do the same thing over and over. Maybe some screenwriters will realize that once the dragon is killed, the hero gets his real wish in life. He gets to live happily ever after off screen.

Matt Worley is currently working on the last two movies in a psychotic trilogy about rock stars, their brothers and the aliens who befriend them.

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