Making it real
By Chris Jungle

Politicians and parents seemed to be troubled by the content on television and in the movies. Dole wants the movies like Trainspotting to stop glamorizing drugs. I saw Trainspotting which is more than he can say, and the only thing remotely glamorous about the main characters' drug use was that they didn't all die. Only one of them did. Apparently unless all drug users die in the movies, it's glamorous. Clinton also has his silly moments concerning the entertainment industry‹like complaining that there is not enough children's educational programming. But according to his guidelines, networks could fill that requirement by showing three hours of Saved by the Bell. Even parents in general have gotten into whining about TV programming, apparently because they never taught their children any joys beyond watching television. Even though this isn't a problem that should be discussed at such lengths, there is a viable solution to all of this silliness.

Many people are complaining that the sex and violence in the movies and on television is too real. The easiest solution is to make it actually real. Everything that happens in shows will actually happen. Any character shot and killed in the movies or on television is actually shot and killed. All those druggies who smoke pot or crack, sniff cocaine, or shoot up heroin on shows will actually be feeling the effects of the particular narcotic. All characters that have appear to be having sex are actually having sex. No longer will people say "What a great performance," but rather "What a great picture of reality." Sure, the shots would still be staged, but the reality of the actions makes the whole production more authentic. You might think actors will not volunteer to be shot and killed (for the sake of staying alive), but you should never underestimate what some people will do to get on television.

Because of the inclusion of these real acts, the entertainment industry will have to have certain regulations waved. For instance, both human and animal rights groups will not be allowed to sue any company because of violations. It is tragic that men, women, boys, girls, dogs, cats, whales, and the like have to sacrifice their lives for the sake of realistic depictions, but it is a small price to pay. Think of all the children that will learn how to deal with death because of a certain show.

Certain shows will not have to abide by the new reality restrictions. Cartoons, science fiction, and fantasy shows can continue to fake their deaths and love scenes. People, for some reason, can tell the difference between a fictional story and reality when it's not put in a real life situation.

Many may scoff at the effectiveness of such honesty in programming, but they may not realize that it's already being done. Sporting events and documentaries are already showing life in its true form, and people know when the quarterback goes down he's really hurt and when the bear eats the fish, the fish has died. Very little protest has been voiced at these kinds of shows, and adding sitcoms and dramas to reality restrictions should continue the trend of complacency with actual violence.

Concerning sex in entertainment, it is tragic that some actors will have to commit adultery, but these on-screen extra-marital relations are still necessary for many movies to have any kind of interesting scenes. Just think of what Basic Instinct would have been like without the sex and violence. It would also bring more excitement for the actors and actresses getting parts. They could really push to work with certain people. Even the public would get more excited about scenes. If these new restrictions were in place and someone told me about a movie with a love scene between Brad Pitt and Cameron Diaz, I might actually shell out seven bucks to go see the flick.

The new reality restrictions will repulse some viewers because they will know all the horror that goes on in the scene actually happened, and as a result they will no longer watch the shows and movies. That is a small price to pay for to save the millions upon millions of viewers (which include children) across the United States who cannot tell the difference between shows in which all the performances are just acting and instances that occur in reality. If the reality restrictions do come into effect, I will personally try and attend every Shakespeare tragedy I can, so I can watch those fine, daring actors in their professional and personal swan songs.

Chris Jungle is thinking about trying out for a part in the new Paul Verhoeven movie if the reality restrictions come into effect.

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