NASA's a great marketing company
By Chris Jungle

About three weeks before NASA came out about the magical rock from Mars, I was sitting in a beanbag watching a show on the Discovery Channel about Antarctica. They discussed the types of small micro-organisms that lived under the ice caps when I heard the special statement. The narrator related matter-of-factly, "These same organisms existed under the ice caps on Mars." I waited for the narrator to follow up on his bold statement but instead moved on to talk about the walrus. At the time, I thought the Discovery Channel was slipping in statements to make us subconsciously believe in extra-terrestrial life, and I began writing my conspiracy theory on how the channel was trying to take over the world. Then a group named the National Aeronautics and Space Association said the same thing‹and they had details.

NASA had a rock that fell from Mars showing fossils of micro-organisms encrusted in it. Naturally, I'm impressed by NASA's findings, but there was still one disconcerting thought in my mind. How long have they had this rock? Reports say that the chunk of Mars was found in 1991, and although NASA kept the information hidden, the Discovery Channel touted the astounding news weeks ahead of them. I'm not sure, but I think the Antarctica show was a rerun, so who knows how long ago the news was first made public.

I'm not saying the Discovery Channel has the answers to all of life's mysteries (although it might). I'm saying that NASA kept the information until the climate was right to reveal it. They waited until aliens and outer space were hot topics of conversation before going public. In essence, they relied on popular culture to bring up the subject of extra-terrestrials, so the country would be interested in the find. It's one of those obscure marketing strategies that business majors are taught in college.

The reason the Mars rock has to be a marketing ploy is that they've had the thing for years. A researcher found the rock in 1991. Let's say it took a year for NASA to get their hands on it and another year for them to figure out that it was from Mars and had fossils. I'll even give them an extra year just for incompetence. They should have come out with the announcement sometime in 1994.

There was only one problem with that year. In 1994, people did not concern themselves with the ideas of outer space. It was the year Kurt Cobain died, Forrest Gump topped the box office, and the Republicans took back the Congress. The masses concerned themselves with getting ahead in the world and not of the world beyond. Even Star Trek: The Next Generation stopped television production, and the movie did not break big box office records. NASA knew it would be scoffed at if they presented the rock at the time.

The latter half of 1996 has been a great time to bring the news. People are still high from the Olympics, the X-files has created a successful cult, and ID4 brought out that 'we're the best creatures in the world' attitude back into our consciousness. With this in mind, NASA made a phone call to the press which was more than willing to jump on the story.

It doesn't bother me if NASA uses the rock for marketing purposes to hype funding for a mission to Mars. What annoys me is that they would hold that information for the right climate. I once had a professor that spoke of the never ending 'Search for Truth,' and I followed this pursuit. If government-funded organizations are going to sit on discoveries until they think the majority of the public will approve, maybe we should give them very little money until they make disclosures about their findings. Give them time tables for when projects need to done by. Since the Space Race no longer drives them, let's make it a Money Race. The first project to make a major discovery gets most of the grants.

The funding shouldn't be limited to just NASA though. If other organizations think they can do better, let them join in. In the case of the rock from Mars, the Discovery Channel would get much more money than NASA. Regardless of who found out the information, the money would go to the ones who presented it. I don't think the government is alone in the willingness to pay for answering mysteries. Oliver Stone will pay much money for the discovery of the secret Warren Commission files. Hundreds of families will chip in to find out what happened to TWA Flight 800. Weightlifter Mark Henry would like to know who in his sport is taking steroids. I, myself, would pay ten bucks to talk to the person who took my car stereo. Somebody out there has the answer to all of these mysteries, and they're sitting on the information. But don't worry, I've got the Discovery Channel on. I'll keep you posted.

Chris Jungle is currently doing independent research on how the greater portion of the masses have given up the quest for a complete soul. Early results have shown egos, shopping, and really expensive cars to be causes.

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