The role model bonus
By Chris Jungle

Athletes often scoff at the cruel accusation that are somehow role models to the youth. When asked if he has a responsibility to be outstanding citizen, a basketball player usually states honestly that "They pay me to play basketball and score points." I admire players when they make statements like that because they honor one of the time-old rules: honesty is the best policy. Football players are taught to be tough and mean, basketball players have to be large, quick and flashy, and baseball players can be whatever they want as long as they can either throw or hit a ball. The fact that people admire them is just a consequence of being so gifted.

Since the public's admiration of athletes is unavoidable, teams should have a way of defending themselves against the foolish actions their players sometimes make. Organizations need a way to determine which of their players are wonderful people and which are thugs with talent. Here enters the role model bonus. When players sit down to negotiate contracts, they will not only haggle for more money because of their physical skills, but they will also have the option taking the role model bonus which says they will be upstanding and even outstanding citizens during the duration of the contract. Those players who believe they will most likely get into trouble will wisely decline the bonus. Thus, the choice of whether to be a role model rests comfortably on the shoulders of the player.

The amount of the bonus depends on the player. Obviously, a well known player would receive a much greater bonus than a second stringer. This does not, however, mean lesser known players should not be offered the role model bonus, for their good deeds off the court may be the only reason people would know them. The role model bonus allows players the opportunity to use their notoriety for good regardless of whether they are the best players, and they even get a little something extra in the paycheck.

Teams will be able to defend themselves from attacks from the press about the morally questionable and law breaking actions of its players by not giving role model bonuses to thugs and abusive players. When Michael Irvin and Bam Morris got caught with drugs and/or "dancers," the organization could just say they did not offer them role models bonuses because they felt those players did not represent the organization well-even though their outstanding physical abilities did merit them spots on the team. If teams foolishly gives those law breaking players the role model bonuses, they would have to revoke the bonus and the players would not be eligible to receive the bonus for five years. At the end of the five year suspension (assuming the player is still around), teams will evaluate the athlete's conduct since the incident and reinstate the bonus if deemed worthy.

The role model bonus not only would reward the players who are naturally outstanding people, but it also gives incentive to players with questionable pasts (e.g. raised on the mean streets of Philadelphia, or a nasty habit of beating his girlfriend) to turn their lives around and lead exemplary lives. Many players complain that they do many good deeds for the community and are not recognized for their actions. Well, the role model bonus shows that the team cares about the person's fine accomplishments even if the community and country do not know about them.

The bonus also helps the "I'm just here to play ball" players. No one will expect them to be nice people. Kids will learn that those players do not care about them and that they are not people to admire off the court. The public will learn that the non-role model players may have a great crossover dribble or can crank out forty home runs a year, but beyond that, those athletes should be ignored and left alone. That's what they want anyway. Ask Charles Barkley. Ask Brian Cox. Ask Ty Cobb. Well, forget about that last one. The rejection of the bonus shows just as much as accepting it, and the public should honor an athlete's decision either way.

People might see the role model bonus as a bribe for their players to be good. They might think that it is another way players can make more money on top of their already impressive salaries. The public might worry players will be exposed as being nice to the public just because it is required in their contract rather than out of actual desire. To those skeptics of this plan, the answer is plain and simple. Honesty is the best policy.

Chris Jungle still needs five quality columns before the end of the year to avoid having to go to qualifying school. Pundits say he has a fifty-fifty chance.

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