Stuffing the American Dream
By Jon Worley

Years ago, George Carlin had a routine called "stuff". On how that plastic model of the deepest hand-dug well in the world is alright, because it's your stuff. And that rubber model of the largest ball of string in the world is trash, because it's your neighbor's stuff.

Or, to update the argument with a political spin: Your Lexus is fine because it's yours, while that rat-trap in the neighborhood welfare queen's front yard is an eyesore, because it's hers.

In other words, the Republican philosophy of life.

I watched with distracted interest as speaker after speaker extolled the virtues of Bob Dole, the man who will "Restore the American Dream" (the official title of last week's GOP multi-million dollar production) when he wanders into the White House. Sounds good. But what exactly is the American Dream?

A few hardworking reporters, print and broadcast alike, asked that same question. And the responses were more than a little disconcerting. A sampling of actual responses:

"My children will have a better can than I do."

"I'll have more stuff than my parents."

"To make enough so I can retire to Florida."

"Me beating Michael Jordan one-on-one."

Alright, I'll allow that the last one might have been facetious, but still. This emphasis on material wealth is awful disconcerting when you consider that the GOP is the party of "real Christians". A religion founded by a guy who made all his followers give their belongings (if they had any) to the poor before they could become a part of his group.

And it's exactly those folks who are at the heart of this "cash and carry" American Dream. The U.S. Taxpayer party, which is trying to attract the Christian right with vows to whack taxes down and "return" to Biblical law. This party seems to say "We'll give you more money so you can buy more stuff, and we'll kill all the heathens to boot." Oh boy.

The Republicans aren't that silly. But even economists who believe taxes are on the high side of the Laffer curve can see the self-defeating logic of this dream. If everyone gets more money, then no one feels richer. There have to be poor people who stay poor, so that the rich can recognize their rise. Which explains the cuts in social services proposed by the GOP. After all, even in the biggest tent, Republicans don't want anyone who considers a night a Red Lobster to be an epicurean delight.

I've known quite a few people who have spent their lives accumulating more stuff. Scoring more cash at any cost. Loving money more than people. And leading sad, pathetically unfulfilled lives. After all, John and Paul were right: Money can't buy you love.

The happiest people I know (and we are, after all, the nation that calls the pursuit of happiness a fundamental right) are folks with enough money. Enough money to buy a nice used car every five years. Enough money to buy clothes for their children. Enough money to spring for a $7 bottle of wine for an anniversary dinner. Enough money so that they don't want more. After all, Proverbs doesn't say that money is the root of all evil. Proverbs says the love of money is the root of all evil. And the devil is literally in the details.

I always thought the American Dream had something to do with the opportunity for anyone to move amongst the social classes, regardless of how much money a person's family had. I live in a neighborhood of white people, black people, rich people, poor people, Christians, Buddhists, Hindus and a whole bunch of folks who fall in between all these categories. Every time I walk down to the bay and see kids of all economic classes and every imaginable color playing together, I feel good. That's the sort of thing that makes America great.

But stuff? I just can't believe that the American Dream is to accumulate piles of money. Didn't we learn anything from the Beatles? Jeez.

Jon Worley lives rather near Tampa Bay. He's waiting for Dr. Kevorkian to get back to him on a personal matter.

return to the Shut up, I'm talking page
return to the LIES home page
return to the A&A home page