Voting isn't a spectator sport
By Jon Worley

Plenty of my friends didn't vote in the last presidential election. Some of them had silly excuses like "I didn't register" or "I had to work". A couple of them have long, drawn-out philosophical reasoning behind their reticence. Something like "It just doesn't matter, dude." Yeah, right.

I always tell these people, "If you don't vote, don't bitch." As if they didn't hear me, they proceed to list a litany of offenses committed by elected officials, and I ask if they voted against the malefactors.

"Voting sucks, man."

Perhaps there's no getting through that wall. I've been trying for a long time with little success. But if you're actually paying attention to this column so far, I figure you might be receptive to a bit of advice: Don't just vote; get involved.

Political campaigns are always fun, even if your guy is getting stomped. Well, if that's the case, the last couple days are bad. But still, that's why God made Wild Turkey. By the weekend after the election, you'll feel fine.

Seriously, if you believe in a candidate enough to vote for him or her, go one step further and actually put your actions (and money, of course) where your vote is. You will gain a whole new perspective on the process and on your elected officials.

Now my grandparents and plenty of other folks have said many terrible things about President Clinton in my presence. My personal favorite came as I was waving signs on a street corner in St. Pete last week.

"Vote Perot! Clinton's a fag!"

>DD>Actually, "Clinton's a fag" was the most common insult hurled at me as I waved my Clinton/Gore sign on various corners during the evening rush hour. If you believe all the allegations of impropriety with women, from Gennifer Flowers to Paula Jones, you'd have to figure Bill just wouldn't have the time or energy to share his lovemaking with men as well. When I pointed this out to the folks, though, the general response was either a loogey aimed at my face (that instead generally connected with the person's windshield) or threats of violence. That last came when I asked if the cracker in question had personal knowledge of his claim.

It's a touchy issue. I understand. I think he prefers the family ewe.

You know, though, all that stuff is a real rush. I kinda liked the folks who really got bent out of shape. The old lady who almost caused a wreck just trying to get her arm out the window to give me the finger. The soccer mom with a minivan full of kids who screamed "Motherfucker! Whoremonger! Liar! Bastard!" and lots of other stuff I couldn't understand as she drove past.

The most stylish dis of the week came on the first day, almost the first person to react to the signs. This forty-ish woman in a suit casually opened her sunroof and slowly raised her arm, giving me a rising finger. Now that's class.

The funniest occurrence was a woman (early twenties, as was her boyfriend) who managed to reach over and honk the horn of the car her boyfriend was driving. We looked over, and she and he were locked in a death struggle, her trying to get to the horn to honk it some more in support, and him trying to stop her. She was laughing uncontrollably. He started yelling very loudly. His voice got louder as the light turned green and he screeched out of the intersection. We probably ruined their evening. Oh well.

I have to tell you, the positive responses (from raised fists to a thumbs-up, a simple wave or peals of joyous shouting) outnumbered the negative ones about 10-to-1. That ratio probably held true for any Dole people out on different corners. After all, we're generally nice people, though I think the mean ones make for better sport.

The point of all this silliness is that by doing something simple, like waving a sign for two hours, you can help get someone elected. Sure, there are plenty more direct ways to help, but waving signs is a good start. Once you cross the line, you have become more than just a passive voter. You are now an active participant in the political process. Parents tell their kids to get involved in school and extra-curricular activities. That advice rings just as true after you've finished your formal education.

Don't just vote; get your hands dirty. It's easy to complain. The hard part is actually making a difference.

Jon Worley intends to vote early and often on Tuesday.

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